Monday, June 11, 2012

I can explain ...

*For those of you who are following our sister blog, Ask the Go-To Girls, I offer this
post. For those of you who are only following The Uppity Woman, I also offer this post. I hate to break it to you, but I'm two-timing you.

I know, I know — you’re sick to death of my excuses and you’re beginning to think of me as mere mucus. Regardless, I’d like to try another mealy-mouthed explanation as to why there is no podcast available THIS WEEK.

Seriously, I have an even better reason than the Memorial Day/John Edwards one, and this one has the added advantage of being true.

Here it is — drum roll please: We were too busy.

Yes, you read that right. We were too busy to care what all of you, our dear friends, listeners and supporters, thought of our negligence. And there’s a dang good reason for that. I was embroiled in an urgent, electronic business conference.

Whaddyah mean that doesn’t sound like something I would ever be able to do, even in my wildest delusional state, during which I harbor the illusion that I’m a highly respected business magnate??? I would take umbrage if I weren’t actively groveling for your forgiveness right now.

But I am, so here is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth that I put my own slant on to sway your opinion of me:

On the only day the Go-To Girls could coordinate to record our podcast, I was embroiled in the aforementioned urgent, electronic business conference with a realtor, filling out an “Agreement to Buy” a lakefront building lot in South Carolina.

See? So there, Mrs. Jackson. I am fo’ real.

And for my next act, I will go for your sympathy …

After spending hours on the phone and online with the realtors, the bankers, the candlestick makers, I received the following message from the realtor:

“Um … hi Mailyn. I was just out walking the lot when the woman who lives next door came over and told me she bought it in May.”

Me, brain-fried but semi-celebratory and already swigging a beer to unwind after what I thought was a completed transaction:

“That’s bizarre.”

The realtor:

“Yes, it is bizarre.”

So there I was, all wily and pumped up about having negotated this slick deal and — HAMMER TIME, right on my head. Wouldn’t you know that the first foray into personal real estate acquisition for the hubby and me in 29 years, two months and six days — but who’s counting? — would turn out like this??

The final word is — well, we actually don’t have the final word yet. We should know sometime this afternoon. But the best-case scenario is that, if we actually get the lot, we’ll have a bitter, crazy woman as a next door neighbor.

And that, my friends, is why there is no podcast this week. I promise we’ll make it up to you next week.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get a beer.

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