Ditbits: Confessing

I owe you all an apology. I promised I would post my Piece of Mind column here once a week, and, to clarify, I didn't mean that in Biblical weeks; i.e., the first day = creation of heavens and Earth, the second day =  ... well, you get it. Hence, I am as guilty as sin.

All this leaning on my faith is a sure sign of sheepishness, and I'm owning up to it. But I can explain.

[Aw geez, Mildred, here she goes with the excuses again.]

Just to be sporting (and distract you from my shameless behavior), let's do this in a multiple-choice format! C'MON, IT'LL BE FUN, MILDRED! You get to choose your preferred excuse!

Here goes:
I have not posted a new column -- or, okay, ALRIGHT, even a simple paragraph to let you know I'm still alive -- for weeks. Mea culpa, Homies. Below are several possible reasons for my negligence. Choose one and, if you feel like sharing, justify your choice in the comment section below this post. Admit it, you love audience participation. Besides, it's not like I'm hypnotizing you and making you do the shimmy to "My Humps."

#1. I was on strike as a gesture of support for my teaching friends, to protest the ban on collective bargaining, because I really do think there's power in numbers if you're dickering on a cute pair of Hush Puppies.

#2. We've had so much rain here in the Midwest that I was afraid of electrocution if I used my computer. Hey, I am positive those cables are below sea level.

#3. I have been really absorbed in a compelling piece of literature with a penguin on the spine and a Fabio-alike on the cover.

#4. My dogs have been needy.

#5. We have listed our house and I've been cleaning, painting, and upgrading; my daughter is preggo and I'm so excited I spend all my time of baby-name websites; I'm going to the ASJA Conference in N.Y. this weekend and have been feverishly working on a book pitch; and my back is killing me.

Okay, folks. I didn't realize until I actually wrote those options that it comes down to picking the least preposterous. So do it. I have effectively place the onus for my misbehavior on you. Dang, I'm good.